Okay first things first the gig I mentioned at the end of my last post has been moved to the 20th of May I apologise for that it was a last minute change but it is still at the same place. Okay a big thing for me lately has been a very large lack of sleep as every time I go to sleep my brain decides " I know it's time to work" and keeps me up as it refuses to turn fucking off. Me and my brain will soon be having a very serious conversation so do not worry. Just don't trust me with any heavy machinery for a while not that I'm too tired it's just lately I have been thinking how funny it would to drive a bulldozer through my sisters bedroom wall while she's sleeping. That's what she sodding gets for waking me up on one of the few good nights sleep I have had in 3 months by loudly vomiting into the fucking toilet. Not only did I lose sleep but the sound of vomiting isn't the nicest noise to wake bloody up to. Oh one other thing I'm trying to encourage people to comment on my posts so I get an idea of what everyone thinks and get idea's for what else to talk about. So comment you lazy shits.
Now for the first time ever I am actually doing the main part of my post about something to do with stand up comedy. Well sort of at least it's a book about it. The other day I bought a book called "Stand Up Put Downs" which is compered by Rufus Hound off amazon. To anyone who after reading this would like to get it the link to the amazon page is on the right underneath Comedy sites and stuff I think. Well I was on amazon looking for some stand up DVD when I came across the book. It was only £2.50 if you did free delivery so I thought "That's a price of a pint.....a book or a pint...fuck it my liver will thank me" so I got it. All I shall it was bloody worth that pint it's a very funny little book. It's not a big book at all but it being so cheap it's not bad. It basically has a massive collection of put downs used by comedians and some of their experiences of hecklers. All I shall say is it's bloody funny I wish I had seen some of the put downs mentioned in the book they range from the very simple like one from Brendan Dodds which I know the comedy society will like "Sorry I don't speak orc". To ones you must think how the fuck did they get away with saying that without getting punched. I was worried about my joke about drop kicking kittens annoying people but if these put downs are anything to go by I'm fucking fine. To any comedians trying to think up put downs this book is rather handy it has helped with my put downs. Though I have it much easier than most stand ups being a welsh guy in England I can kind of guess what sort of heckles I'm going to get. Yay for stereotypical, slightly racist jokes about me doing the dirty with a bloody sheep......yes I'm so fucking lucky aren't I.
The book also has bits with stories from comedians when they were heckled. They vary from the light just general shouting to people put a pint of piss over them. I will admit to newbie's the stories aren't the best for a confidence boost but it at least lets you laugh at the bad luck of others in sheer hope it won't fucking happen to you. Well that's what I hoped as I'm really not a fan of being covered in piss evidence by the fact I don't like going to Birmingham. To the people of Birmingham sorry but the last time I went through there on a train I at one point suddenly smelt something that smelt like a child had unleashed everything in it's bowels at once into their trousers.....Then the doors shut and it turned out the kid happened shit itself it was just the smell coming in the door. Well it's a good little book and I recommend it to any stand ups and also to anyone who is a fan of stand up comedy in general.
The Human Jester