Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Christmas with the Human Jester

First off if your wondering "who the fuck is the human jester" I the other night discovered Human Jester is an anagram of my name and with me trying to do stand up I thought this was bloody awesome. I also thought it was a sign from god that I should be funny so looks like you sorry lot are stuck with me.
           Now onto the main part Christmas, Crimbo, Xmas, Jesus's birthday whatever you call it. All I shall say is this year it doesn't feel like it at all to be honest it just feels like a normal day. Though just with my annoying sister shouting at me at 9am to wake up and me having a lot more chocolate, booze and cash. I think it might have been because one my christmas present was my train ticket home so basically my present is my fucking self just in Wales. I've seen myself and I'm really I'm really not a good present my special action is lifting a pint and my catch phrases ll involve the word fuck to some extent. The only way I'm better than half the presents kids these days is I come with functioning genitalia rather than a round piece of plastic and let me tell you I know how to damn use those genitalia. I've had a fair few years of practise to know how to use them correctly.
               Okay now walking away from the mild creepiness that was the last few sentences I have never really much to look forward to on Christmas. All my family just give me booze (and people wonder why I used to call myself a alcoholic) so other that getting wasted there is never much for me to do. The main thing I look forward to on Christmas is Top Gear and Doctor Who that's how sad I am. Fuck seeing the happy faces of people opening presents and being kind to each other I want to see 3 men take the piss out of each others with the occasional mention of cars and a man fighting off people in dodgy costumes. Saying that if anyone wants to get me a present get me something that can make my voice sound like a darlek I could have so much fun with that. Being able to talk like a darlek can make even the simplest things funny, I have a beautiful image in my head of how funny it would be hearing a darlek order a mc donalds....though it would be even better if it went through the drive through. Though to be honest I don't really care about presents I like just seeing everyone but this year none of my family has put up decorations or anything so it feels just like a normal just wish everyone a bit drunker.
                Well simply I find Christmas kind of boring that's why I shall be spending it drinking doing a Welsh stand up gig hunt and possibly writing material. Full of Christmas spirit aren't I. One final thing do those very few people who read this. First follow me you lazy shits if not on here on twitter (my twitter) and secondly I am debating having my stage intro for gigs be something like "The Human Jester James Hunter" leave a comment with your opinion. Also if there's anything you want me to talk about leave it in the comment section as well. Okay so that's is for today Merry Christmas and also Happy Birthday Jesus

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