Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Screw all the animal adds about global warming, stop polluting to save me.

Lately the weather has been strangely good even here is Wales where our version of good weather is a drizzle. Lots of sun and cloudless skies giving us for a change the summer heat.......I hate it. I've been hiding in doors like some sort of gremlin only venturing outside to get my daily sustenance of cider and crisps if there are none in the house. Actually screw gremlin in this heat I may as well be a vampire though I mean a proper vampire on that would burst into flames. Unless I ever for unknown reasons decide to go out dressed as Elton John I highly doubt I would suddenly start sparkling. When I'm on holiday all I do is cower from the heat beneath the umbrella's and hide in the pool. Yes people I would rather bask in a pool full of piss, rubbish, sweat, angry Germans (every time I have gone on holiday for unknown reason's I have accidentally annoyed a German)  and salt water as the hotel can't afford chlorine which says a lot when they can afford to keep their staff so orange.  Though on the rare occasion they can afford chlorine it's so much your face melts more than if you fell him first into a bucket of cilt bang.

I'm Welsh I'm used to rain, wind and a fuck load of clouds. Every time you people start your cars you are bringing me ever closer to burning quicker than a ginger in Cyprus. That's another thing think about the gingers if the heat keeps going up soon gingers will become extinct. They will either reach their ignition point where their skin can no longer handle the heat causing them to spontaneously combust (I would so love to know the ignition point of a ginger) or burn so badly their skin would go the same colour as their hair. It would be the invasion of the morphs. Though I just had an idea, you some people go red when they get angry. I wonder if you made a ginger angry enough they would go as red as their hair, it would be like a sunburnt Hulk.

But all you people currently sitting in the sun with your pims, strawberries while watching Wimbledon with the women's screams putting porn actors to shame think about what this weather is doing to others. Your driving is going to make gingers extinct, me melt and by far the worst make my pint go warm.

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