Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Warning: what you are about to read will make little sense

Thursday, 14 July 2011

I'm not a alcoholic if I was I would be drinking now.....oh wait I am

I haven't made a post in a fair while but that is what happens when you are cursed with the memory of a gold fish with alzheimer's.  Well today my badly grammared, completely pointless and very difficult to understand rant shall be about booze.

I don't see why people concentrate on the bad effects of booze so much yes there is a chance you may end up passed out on Wetherspoons steps after drinking too much wine but this then provides a large amount of amusement for others. Think about it seeing a fat bloke run is always amusing but add being drunk to that and you know there's a chance he's going run into the window of Mcdonalds thinking it's the door. Being drunk just makes everyday boring things fun. A good example was the one time I came back drunk after a night out and decided to make some toast. I forgot the toaster beeped when it had finished and thought there was a land mine in the kitchen instead, clearly much more interesting than if I had made toast while sober. Only while drunk can a person get a toaster confused with a land mine. Another time I tried designing some buildings while drunk. When I woke up it turned out I had designed a upside down Sombrero and Lincoln Nando's. Well at least it proved I'm not the only person who drinks to much in Lincoln.
                  I drink a lot myself which if you haven't noticed by now I think my dog has more brain power than you and seeing as he struggles to understand the concept of glass people. I also love the brilliance of blacking out. Anyone who has ever drunk too much and woken up with a mens toilet sign in their room and photo's that Charlie Sheen would be ashamed of will be thankful of this, I know I am at least thank fuck I can't remember that night. Though I will admit there is a level of drunk which is a bit bad. Being so drunk you have to get someone else to open your front door for you is funny but being so drunk you projectile vomit over a spaniel is very funny but also a bit dodgy. Not that I have ever seen someone projectile vomit over a spaniel but I would love it if I did.

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